When have I ever mistreated any of you? If you had an axe to grind, you should have aired things out with me. I put Ollie in there to stave off boredom on my part. You find each other endlessly fascinating. I do not. You stare at me with those bulging eyes and I have to look away. I add something to your lives and instead of embracing him, you did what you did.
You ravaged poor Ollie, a harmless turtle, acted like he was invading your stupid tank. I can see bits of shell lying on the bottom among the pebbles. I remind you, that tank, pebbles, and water belong to me. I can barely imagine the horror of that tiny creature as you vicious thugs tore at his head and extremities.
I can only assume somewhere in your past a snapper turtle gobbled up a friend or relative and this was your revenge. Think about what you've done while I withhold feedings and maybe pour diet Snapple into your home. Better yet--hot cider.
Saturday, January 25, 2020
Abandoned
Years ago I was using Windows XL. I got an email telling me Microsoft no longer would send updates to that model. Tech people warned me not to use it for security's sake.
I had to upgrade to Windows 10 on a new laptop because downloading it onto Windows XL would cause my computer to crash, my garage to be set aflame and my water pipes to burst.
Now the same message has been sent to owners of Windows 7, but at least 10 can be safely downloaded onto that system.
Sometimes I hear a mournful whirring coming from my closet where I store Windows XL. It feels abandoned and I can't blame it.Change can be heartbreaking.
I had to upgrade to Windows 10 on a new laptop because downloading it onto Windows XL would cause my computer to crash, my garage to be set aflame and my water pipes to burst.
Now the same message has been sent to owners of Windows 7, but at least 10 can be safely downloaded onto that system.
Sometimes I hear a mournful whirring coming from my closet where I store Windows XL. It feels abandoned and I can't blame it.Change can be heartbreaking.
Fortune Teller
Francine the fortune teller had no insurance. She sat in emergency, suffering from depression. She lived in an area known for artists, musicians, dancers and writers. They came to her seeking hope for the future in their field. Time after time, all she saw was failure.
They slipped away, head down, distraught.
She explained to the nurse practitioner, it wasn't just that. It was images she saw focusing on what they would wind up doing their adult lives. Bowling teams, crossing guard, laundromat attendant, personal trainer, dog walker, real estate lawyer. When she related this to the nurse, that woman joined her in sobbing.
They slipped away, head down, distraught.
She explained to the nurse practitioner, it wasn't just that. It was images she saw focusing on what they would wind up doing their adult lives. Bowling teams, crossing guard, laundromat attendant, personal trainer, dog walker, real estate lawyer. When she related this to the nurse, that woman joined her in sobbing.
Monday, January 20, 2020
Criss Cross
Ben Franklin probably created the first crossword puzzle in his spare time. There were only 452 words in the English language back then.
Years later, engineers created criss- crossing traffic circles which drive motorists to the brink of breakdown. LA has mastered this phenomenon, leaving drivers in tears.
I believe God,out of boredom, uses a random criss cross method to decide who gets the flu, who stubs his toe, who suffers from regurgitation.
There is a technique for hugging involving criss crossed arms, only practiced in Turkey after much repetition.
Line dancing involves lots of crossing steps. Astaire and Rogers criss crossed across the stage.
This whole thing is named after Christopher Columbus crossed the ocean to land in Delaware. Or was it South Carolina?
Years later, engineers created criss- crossing traffic circles which drive motorists to the brink of breakdown. LA has mastered this phenomenon, leaving drivers in tears.
I believe God,out of boredom, uses a random criss cross method to decide who gets the flu, who stubs his toe, who suffers from regurgitation.
There is a technique for hugging involving criss crossed arms, only practiced in Turkey after much repetition.
Line dancing involves lots of crossing steps. Astaire and Rogers criss crossed across the stage.
This whole thing is named after Christopher Columbus crossed the ocean to land in Delaware. Or was it South Carolina?
Naked Truth
What is the truth and what is fake news. If someone tells you something in confidence, then publicly says the opposite, do you betray his trust or reveal the truth for the greater good?
The press has been criticized for inventing stories, but don't those in the public arena manipulate news by picking sympathetic reporters?
Noted flash fiction author Joe Del Priore was caught on camera creating pornographic figures out of quick drying clay. He claimed he was experimenting with form. Is he lying? Or is this his own naked truth? Either way, the controversy has caused a surge in his book sales. Plus, his figures may be shown at MOMA in the spring.
The press has been criticized for inventing stories, but don't those in the public arena manipulate news by picking sympathetic reporters?
Noted flash fiction author Joe Del Priore was caught on camera creating pornographic figures out of quick drying clay. He claimed he was experimenting with form. Is he lying? Or is this his own naked truth? Either way, the controversy has caused a surge in his book sales. Plus, his figures may be shown at MOMA in the spring.
Sibling Rivalry
The Smith Brothers had a serious sibling rivalry. They stood in their front yard as kids competing to see who could cough longest and loudest. Their family doctor said they had excess mucus and told them to drink water and use three pillows.
They synchronized their coughs to the point they gave concerts around town. As men, they decided to create a cough syrup beyond all others and they succeeded.
Now they are better know for cough drops. But the rivalry continued. They fought over who had the longest, thickest beard.
A billionaire bought their brand and went public. The stock stands at $457 a share.
They synchronized their coughs to the point they gave concerts around town. As men, they decided to create a cough syrup beyond all others and they succeeded.
Now they are better know for cough drops. But the rivalry continued. They fought over who had the longest, thickest beard.
A billionaire bought their brand and went public. The stock stands at $457 a share.
Saturday, January 11, 2020
Ghosted
She ghosted me. Never answered my emails. Okay. She has four published books on the INternet. I will buy each and review them. Not tearing them apart. Oh no, I will sneak in snark comments, little hints she lacks integrity, is not nearly as good as she thinks she is. And will tell her about the reviews and see if she contacts me disputing my comments. And I will laugh all night.
Ghosting is dsigusting.
Ghosting is dsigusting.
Cut Off
The VW bug cut me off as I was leaving a gas station. That jerk was not in the right lane. He shot over from the center lane and missed my car by two feet at most. I hit the brakes and of course the idiot behind me slammed on his and beeped the horn like it was my fault. I beeped right back.
I hate dumb drivers who have no patience. I followed the VW into a parking lot. I should have gotten out and reamed the bastard. What's the point? An altercation ensues, cops are called, I wind up missing an important football game.
So I swallow my pride. At my age, it's so much easier to do.
I hate dumb drivers who have no patience. I followed the VW into a parking lot. I should have gotten out and reamed the bastard. What's the point? An altercation ensues, cops are called, I wind up missing an important football game.
So I swallow my pride. At my age, it's so much easier to do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)