Wear a joyous expression and loose, layered clothes to prevent wedgies.
Smile incessantly, even if the people around you are unclean and stinky.
Learn how to hold a book of carols, walk and sing lyrics without smacking into a tree.
If you can't reach a note, close your eyes and fake it.
Do not try to slip in Buddhist chants.
Don't attempt the German version of Silent Night.
Make eye contact, occasionally hugging fellow carolers.
Don't grope them during the hug.
Decide who makes the hot chocolate for afterwards.
If a guy comes to the door wearing boxer shorts and a garter belt, sing louder.
Carry pepper spray for troublesome pets and lonely people who wish to join you.
Never let an old person bring up the rear. Cardiac events & strokes might escape notice.
Any caroler who has lost his voice must step away from the group & wait in the van.
What happens in the caroler van stays in the caroler van.
Try not to rumble with competing carolers. It is the season, after all.
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