The Art of Crankiness

Wearing my fisherman's hat makes me look cranky. People avoid me. Children are frightened. I want to smell the roses, but the price makes me furious.
Kids are cranky because they want something. Adults use crankiness to get attention. Especially on lines going nowhere.
I'm sure there were cranky people in that singing group Up with People, whose joyousness made me wretch. You can growl cranky, mumble cranky, sing cranky like Dylan. No one embodies cranky more than Nick Nolte in every single photo, unlike Clint Eastwood who is plain ornery, seething with anger. He'll shoot you before either one of you reaches cranky.
Old people in coffee houses with their paper and java grousing about everything--that's my man cave. Old people even shift position with cranky, jerky movements. They listen to radio stations with cranky hosts and spread their attitude throughout lobbies, diners and gyms. They grunt cranky when the weight is too heavy.
Some old guy who was late, growled at a woman who attempted to sit next to him on the bus. He looked across at me for support. I looked down at my feet and began humming Blowin' in the Wind. I didn't have my fisherman's hat on.