I always wait until January to purchase my thong underwear. I get rock bottom prices for my rock bottom. I order by the dozen. An active guy like me runs through them pretty fast. I also order my sun tan lotion at that time. Despite my age, I have the body of a twenty five year old and beaches and pools clamor for me as their lifeguard.
I've gotten discounted poets who sit in my living room reciting their work as I play soft music. A few years ago I found a cold cut slicing machine at half price. I spent weeks slicing pounds of cold cuts and sharing with neighbors. Then I got carpel tunnel syndrome and had to stop.
My church, St. Rocco of the Ho;y Riverbed, offered half price crosses, free confessions and extra Holy Water after Christmas.
The best aspect of January shopping is the slashed price of eggnog. If there were eggnog available throughout the year, I think there would be more tolerance and world peace.
But I said that about guacamole dip and look who we elected.
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