Sociology

One time a college student asked to follow me around so she could study my daily habits. I like privacy, but she was cute so I said okay.
She accompanied me to my favorite coffee shop, where I sat and read the paper. Two hours later, I was still reading and she had dozed off. After I shook her awake, she suggested I do something interesting. So i took out my nose hair clipper and went to work.
The young lady grimaced and sheepishly told me she might be better off following someone else. I was hurt, but agreed. As she left, she asked if I could recommend someone. I thought a moment and gave her the contact information for my proctologist. She thanked me and left.
Truthfully, if you experience me doing or saying uninteresting things, it's just a ruse. I am actually dynamic, charismatic, colorful, witty and elegant.
I do, however, have coffee breath.