Decision Tree

I pity those who depend on the Decision Tree modal to determine choices. Sad. Me? When I walk into Dunkin, I know exactly what coffee-medium, two creams, 2 Sweet & Lows-- and what donut--either Old Fashioned or plain stick--I will order. I sit in my usual seat in the back. If it's already taken, I have a back up in the corner.
Okay, sometimes I'll get adventurous and order a latte and apple crumb. When I leave the house I know exactly what coupons I will use at what store and where I will gas up my car.
My only hesitation before making a decision comes when the temperature is around 60 degrees and I have to decide among boxers, briefs or thong underwear.
Recently I have decided my personal trainer, Brunella, will be my wife. She tells me to grunt while exercising and gives great massages. I will write Marry Me in black letters on one of the exercise balls. Who needs a Decision Tree when true love is involved?

Decision Tree

Wally had a decision to make. Should he marry Roxanne or not?
He stood before Ambivalent Bush and and got no definitive response.
He moved to Procrastination Hedge and was advised to hold off and wait.
He went to Pragmatic Vine and was told to check her bank account first.
Finally he reached Decision Tree, closed his eyes and meditated. All sorts of answers flooded his mind, life changing decisions.
Boxers or briefs?
Lentil soup or macaroni and cheese?
Beard or Mustache?
Table tennis or darts?
Cataract surgery or hernia?
Neil Young or Billy Joel/
Suspenders or belt?
With each resolved decision more leaves fell from the tree. Soon there was only one leaf left.
Roxanne or stay single?
That one leaf floated to the ground and Wally had his answer.
The tree sagged in exhaustion.
He hoped she liked suspenders.