Robot

I did not sign up for this. Cleaning, pressing his clothes, garbage take out, that's what I'm coded for. He says he's a writer. Paces the floor. Wears suspenders. What I don't see is him writing.
Wilma wound up with an opera singer--at least she gets to hear music. I've only seen this guy in his underwear one time. Last week he hosted a session for his writer friends. What nonsense. Even robots know a mixed metaphor, a dangling particle, a run on sentence.
After each of them read, they stood and did the hokey pokey. Now this idiot is trying to teach me this stupid dance.
I need to contact my union rep. If he tries to tango with me I'll knee him in the groin.

Service with a Smile

My robot hardly smiles anymore. When I first purchased Louise she smiled during whatever task I gave her. I was satisfied except for one instance. When I asked for discipline, she smiled all through the spanking session. It took the edge off. I tweaked her software so that she would glare at me more often. Guess I overdid it. Now when I ask her to do the dishes she gets surly.
I can't afford another robot.  When I take her to social events she makes the other guests' pleasant robots uncomfortable. I have to assume none of these people have their robot discipline them.
It's all my fault this happened and I feel guilty, which means it's time for some discipline. Maybe at some point Louise will enjoy punishing me so much, that smile will return.
Louise, come in here please. And this time bring the suede strap. Variety is key with your robot.