All my life I've been bullied. Women never respected me. I drove small cars timidly. I ceded the right of way. In the office, there were snarky remarks about my wardrobe, hair and cologne. One day I got so fed up I used a curse word and raised my voice.
This was not the life I wanted.
I went online looking for solutions. I needed a personality transplant, but of course that was impossible. Then I saw it on Amazon. Used Zamboni--$5500. Much cheaper than an SUV. I put in a bid and two days later there was a Zamboni in my driveway.
I had a mechanic add several gears. High above the traffic I sat, loud and intimidating. Go ahead, try to cut me off. I'm still getting the hang of the controls. Switching lanes is problematic, but there are no laws against this.
I'll tell you something else. Women are attracted to a man on a Zamboni. They beg me for rides. Now it's my turn to act aloof. I pray I recognize one of my tormentors on a bike or motorcycle. I'll claim it was an accident.
No comments:
Post a Comment