Selling Connecticut

The President cleared his throat.
Citizens of Connecticut, I know this is difficult for all of you. Congress and I debated this and searched for other solutions. None of them solved the problem. Our country is drowning in debt. Selling one of our states to China will raise billions, especially if you clean up Bridgeport.
I'm sure you will be allowed to keep this country's values. Of course you won't be able to vote, worship, stage demonstrations or consume cheese. Chinese hate cheese. But they have nothing against a good casserole.
Sacrifices must be made. Massachusetts has Boston, NJ has the shore. We offered Delaware and they refused. We offered Puerto Rico and they laughed. As your President, I will do everything I can to make this a smooth transition, but you have to meet us halfway. Learn some Mandarin. Pennsylvania has pledged to donate tons of brown and white rice. Maybe toss in some quinoa. That's the spirit of America.
I'll take some questions now, except about bitcoins, which I still don't understand.