I'm turning over a new leaf. New priorities, new approach.
Next year I'm attacking my nose and ear hair with a high powered trimmer. I will have my bathtub re-glazed and my tiles power cleaned, in case I have visitors, which never seems to happen. I will be more positive, more assertive, create distinct boundaries around my space and loudly inform people if they have invaded my territory.If the food is not cooked to my specifications I will send it back with a stern glare.
I will impart little information about myself. Let folks speculate who the real Joe is.My mystique will have length and breath. When I stride into a room there will be dense murmuring.
I will ask for free refills whenever possible. I will see at least one movie with subtitles. I will sue one person. I will learn to ski, play backgammon, to mold clay into something recognizable, to rumba without a partner if necessary, to change my transmission fluid, to stifle coughs in a crowded theater. I will focus on reading people's faces to determine if they are trustworthy enough to enter into my inner circle, and make no mistake, I will have an inner circle. Finally, I will have a lot more fun without resorting to battery operated devices.
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