Cabbage and Cauliflower

I have been neglecting cabbage and cauliflower. I consider myself a savvy eater, but those two veggies have always eluded me. Cabbage gives me gas, especially with mustard slathered over it. I think I've had cauliflower less than ten times in my life. I saw on TV how good it is for you. The expert said you can eat it raw. Eating raw cauliflower on a Friday night alone in your apartment means you may as well turn on the gas, shut the windows and lie down.
I recently began consuming black beans. This passes for excitement in my life. You can't have enough fiber and beans are cheap. Oddly the Goya aisle is more expensive than the American bean aisle. I refuse to use the word legumes. It is a high end name for beans. Debbie Gibson will never be Deborah, veranda must not replace terrace, marsupial never supersede monkey, spittoon will never be replaced by vertical saliva container.
How big of a bite should one take of the cauliflower? Do you spray it with anything first? Why aren't there more blogs about gassy foods? Enough. I have Christmas cards to write.