Just between us...
I peek into public bathroom stalls to make sure the previous occupant flushed.
I'm wearing black fishnet stockings right now.
I never watched Mr. Rogers and fear those who did.
Every time I eat out little kids come up to me and stare until their parents call them back.
I use way too much shampoo for the amount of hair I have.
I lust after women in yoga pants.
I have a sensory alert system that detects when someone will pass wind.
I use people with blank expressions as inspiration to feel good about myself.
I am afraid of unicyclists and carnival music.
I fear animal trainers dressed in cache.
I also fear pauses in conversation, which is when I remove my shirt to get things started again.
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