My Plan

Here is my plan: Recruit actor friends. Rent a bus. Rent a video player. Create a video centering on my actors verbally abusing me, attacking my haircut, clothes, turkey neck, uneven sideburns, posture, drooping eyelids, etc. Make certain they speak clearly in a disdainful tone. I will become more and more upset and agitated. At some point they'll toss shoes, raw fruit and other items at me.
I'll just sit there and take it. Eventually I'll break into tears. Hold up a photo of my dead wife, though I'm not married. Plead for compassion, only to be met with increased insults.
The video will run at least three minutes. No one will be identified initially after we post it on You Tube. As the millions of hits accumulate and outrage grows, we'll release identification and contact info. Then, I and my conspirators, will sit back and wait for the contributions to come rolling in. The breakdown in profits will probably be something along the lines of me getting a third and the others splitting two thirds.
This is so much easier than the stock market.