CVS Slut

I have a CVS plastic discount card attached to my keyring. I walk in, head right for the coupon machine and scan my card. Strange noises come from the machine and me, as I rub my hands together, waiting for the coupons to slid out.
But sometimes I have already exhausted my allotted quota for that week and a very sad message appears on the screen. I stifle a sob, stagger out the door, knowing my day is ruined.
But most of the time I grab my coupons, combine them with email offers and Sunday paper coupons. Then I attack the store.
Wheat Thin crackers $1.99. Blue Diamond almonds half price! Tuna, 88 cents, pickles and olives, buy one, get one free. $3 off vitamins. Eye drops, nose spray to clear my mind, garbage bags, anti acids, cereal, hand lotion, deodorant, cranberry bags, protein bars, diet milk shakes, bandages, on and on.
My bags are full, my life is full. I am a proud CVS slut, a coupon slattern who cannot wait to get home and put all this stuff away. Then it is on to Walgreens, Rite Aid and Target.
I need more space for all this toothpaste.