Igloo

Mr. and Mrs. Warner, look at this face Is this a face that would lie to you?
You will never find an igloo of this quality anywhere else. Certainly not with a 3.6%  30 year fixed. Storage space? You can fit an elephant in this hole in the ground centered perfectly. Dirt is full of nutrients. Look at this terrace. An igloo with a terrace. I choke up just saying that.
Okay, no windows, but who needs windows? The architect, Olaf Gunnaffson from Iceland, a genius, has provided space heaters to heat everything. We have technology, too complex to explain, that keeps you cool in the summer. Maybe half a wall might melt. Easily fixed.
Ever see counter tops that pretty? And in the morning you can rub your naked body up against a wall of ice. Talk about starting the day off right.
I've got four other couples waiting to see this beauty. Rugs? Absolutely not. You cannot blaspheme the concept with raggedy rugs. Well, excuuuse me. Now I'm thinking maybe you're not the adventurous folks I thought you were.
Fine. We are done here. And put back those ice cubes where you found them.