I fall in love easily. On one of my research trips, I fell hard for a pygmy tribal queen. I hate using that word pygmy. I prefer my pocket love buzzer.
Her boyfriend, a Prince, did not like what was happening right in front of him. He challenged me to a poison dart tossing competition. The queen's warriors were loyal and prevented any such thing while the Prince seethed.
We all went skinny dipping one day. I made the mistake of eyeing some of the other women. She caught me and became furious. Next thing I know, I'm tied to a pole while hot cheese is applied to my sensitive areas. I screamed--they chanted and danced.
I could not understand how they got Limburger and Mozzarella into the heart of Africa. I was eventually released and banished from the tribe. James Cameron bought the rights to my story. Leo will play me. Linda Hunt auditioned for the pygmy queen. I'm thinking, too old, too white. But in Hollywood they work around that.
No comments:
Post a Comment