I will be there to dry all your tears. But I need $20. What?? I just made a beautiful promise and you give me grief. You're always crying, Cynthia. You cry watching The Bachelor, when people are eliminated from the Amazing Race, Survivor, Dancing with the Stars, The Voice and America's Got Talent.
You wake up and go to sleep sobbing. I have hemorrhoids. Do you hear me crying?
Your teardrops could water a garden if we had a garden and now you cry because we have none. Haven't I offered support? So because I'm a little short and want to meet the guys at a bar you act like I'm not a giving person. I'm giving you my hankie to mop up those tears.
I never signed up for this. You were so peppy before we got hitched. What happened? What do you mean I never take you anywhere? I take you everywhere. Come to the bar with me. Sing, dance, drink. Laugh.
But I still need that $20. Don't blow your nose in my handkerchief! I keep my hemorrhoid pills in there.
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