Foaming in Anticipation

It's come to this--anticipating my first cup of coffee in the morning makes me foam at the mouth. Retited 11 years, two cups a day times 365 days times 11 years equal 8030 cups. Add in tea and it's easily over 10000 cups.
Knowing all those other adults are at work mid-morning and you're in some coffee house reading and sipping is what retirement is all about. I've reached the poingt where I fearfully anticipate my first pee, praying something comes out. Small victories. As a senior, you've been through so much it's hard to look forward to anything. No real surprises. Especially on Facebook, where everything is fabrication.
This morning my breakfast was egg in a cup with tomato and onion bits. Someday I will take a chance and order a fruit smoothie. Not right away, I have to work up to it. Today I stared at someone's orange juice with lust.  That's stronger than anticipation. Foam accumulates.

CVS Slut

I have a CVS plastic discount card attached to my keyring. I walk in, head right for the coupon machine and scan my card. Strange noises come from the machine and me, as I rub my hands together, waiting for the coupons to slid out.
But sometimes I have already exhausted my allotted quota for that week and a very sad message appears on the screen. I stifle a sob, stagger out the door, knowing my day is ruined.
But most of the time I grab my coupons, combine them with email offers and Sunday paper coupons. Then I attack the store.
Wheat Thin crackers $1.99. Blue Diamond almonds half price! Tuna, 88 cents, pickles and olives, buy one, get one free. $3 off vitamins. Eye drops, nose spray to clear my mind, garbage bags, anti acids, cereal, hand lotion, deodorant, cranberry bags, protein bars, diet milk shakes, bandages, on and on.
My bags are full, my life is full. I am a proud CVS slut, a coupon slattern who cannot wait to get home and put all this stuff away. Then it is on to Walgreens, Rite Aid and Target.
I need more space for all this toothpaste.