Dream Team

In school we played murder ball. Others called it dodge ball, but we knew better. We students, full of anger and frustration, sought decapitation.
Our dream team consisted entirely of Mafia kids. No one wanted to face us, especially after certain vague threats were made in the locker room. Our gesticulations all meant 'horrible death' in Italian.
We even thought about starting a pro league. Our gym teacher was a fierce Armenian who claimed his team back home was better than ours. The players all were children of their underworld. We fumed. Contacted our fathers. A match was set up. ESPN coverage. Las Vegas took bets. Publicity boomed. Expectations rose. Oh, the excitement.
Then a bunch of tree hugging liberals passed a law outlawing the sport.
We will go underground. Mutilation in gym shorts is part of our heritage.

Dream Team

Dwight was having horrible nightmares and a medical dream team was called in. The neurologist suggested faulty brain wiring and not enough serotonin. The psych guy thought he was molested as a child. The ENT lady thought it was a sinus infection. The nutritionist diagnosed too much lettuce and not enough fiber. The urologist just want to poke around up there. The cardiologist sensed an irregular heartbeat, while the endocrinologist surmised it was mini stroke caused by diabetes complications.
On the patient's fifth day in the hospital, the custodian noticed a postcard on the  floor in the closet. He showed it to Dwight, who began screaming.
It said "Species Unknown--Paintings by Joe". An illustration of a monster was included.
The mystery of Dwight's nightmares was solved.

PS- I have such an exhibit at a local library.