Furniture Sale

My neighbor saw the SOLD sign in front of my house and inquired if I was selling furniture. His was old and in bad shape. I let him in and he toured the place, making a list. As he calculated what he was willing to pay, I suggested we check the basement. I hit the light switch and we descended the stairs.

In the middle of the floor was a bare metal gurney with thick restraining straps hanging where the arms and legs would be. A power saw lay on a stool. On the wall hung cuffs, chains, whips, a ball gag, a blow torch, among other items. In the corner sat a gallon of bleach and a vat of acid.
I can give you everything here for $600, I said.
I turned and he was halfway up the stairs, screaming. But, of course, the entire area was sound proofed.