Off Key

Lucy was a lovely woman who was completely tone deaf. Her experiences with vocal groups rarely lasted more than a week. She traveled the country, staying in flophouses, taking minimum wage jobs, living in poverty, hoping one chorus would accept her.
Finally she threw in the towel, went to secretarial school and became a legal secretary, and eventually a paralegal. One of the lawyers where she worked loved musical theater and often went to piano bars. One day he asked if she would accompany him. Frozen with fear, Lucy fevered over whether her old urge would return and she would be humiliated.
Finally she accepted and that night there they stood around the piano as the man attacked the keys. George launched into a spirited 'Oklahoma'. People ran out screaming. The pianist abandoned his instrument and the bartender and waitress huddled in a back room.
Lucy thought it sounded beautiful.
George kept singing, one song after another a capella, and in the process, broke several EPA laws.
Lucy and George married and moved to a farm far off in the hintwerlands. They sing to each other all day, every day.
The farm animals, one by one, are committing suicide.

Off Key

Lucy was a lovely woman who was completely tone deaf. Sharps and flats were a mystery. When she infrequently hit the right note everyone was stunned. Sooner or later she was asked to leave each choral group. She wandered the country, taking low end jobs, living in furnished rooms, practicing alone until neighbors called the police, assumimg someone was being strangled.
Doctors said there was nothing wrong with her hearing. It was in her brain.
One day, downcast after being rejected by the latest chorus, she gave up singing, went to night school and became a legal secretary.
One of the lawyers in her office, George, loved musicals and went to piano bars. When he invited her, she hesitated. What if the old urge returned? She agreed and one night they stood around the piano and George asked for the fellow to play Maria from West Side Story. He sang and Lucy thought it was beautiful. The others ran out screaming. The pianist abandoned his instrument. The bartenders and waitresses hid in a back room.
George went on singing and broke several zoning laws and eventually was charged with violating air pollution regulations.
Disgusted, they married and bought a farm far away. They sang to each other all day long.
One by one, the animals committed suicide.