Bruised, But Not Broken

My beliefs have kept me stable. They may have been bruised by others, but, in my mind, never broken. For example, I believe there are tacos in heaven, along with swing dancing, feathers, open mikes, and smells so fragrant you almost pass out.
In this world, I believe the amount of gas a person releases is directly proportional to the amount of hugs he gets. I believe we are each allotted a certain amount of words and women, as a group, were given 52% more than men. I believe my hair will grow back if I stop scratching my head. I believe treating your pet is an indicator for how you will treat your salads. I believe men who can cook get more respect than those who don't from attractive women who also can't cook.
I believe making a woman jealous is part of being a man, as is leaving the seat up. I believe Lara Croft Tomb Raider is a great advertisement for push up bras. I believe time is absolute, except if you're stuck in an elevator with engineers.
I will not force my beliefs on others, although the one with the engineers bares more scrutiny.