My barber is closed due to the virus. My scraggly hair was becoming more annoying. So I took action. I used the trimmer on my electric razor to shave most of my sides. Then the battery went dead. Also, I realized I have no hand mirror to monitor the back. I charged my razor and as soon as I finish typing, I'm heading out to find a hand mirror.
I really enjoy rubbing my freshly shaved head. It helps that I have a perfectly shaped noggin.Years ago I got over my oversized ears. I think they are a sign of intellectual development.
I swept up the cut hair, noting how much less there was than when I was young. I can still grow a beard and mustache. Optimism drives me forward.
Showing posts with label haircut. Show all posts
Showing posts with label haircut. Show all posts
Saturday, May 2, 2020
Friday, June 5, 2015
I Want Dreads
I want dreads, I told the stylist.
You're an old white guy with pattern baldness, she responded.
You come highly recommended, I snarled. Do your best.
We have some in storage used only for chemo recipients.
How much?
I have to check with my boss.
How much? You get 20%.
$150.
I counted out eight twenty dollar bills. The extra ten is for trimming my eyebrows.
A week later I'm still getting used to them. Walked right into a pole. Women love dreads and trimmed eyebrows. You can smell the sexual tension when I enter a room.
You're an old white guy with pattern baldness, she responded.
You come highly recommended, I snarled. Do your best.
We have some in storage used only for chemo recipients.
How much?
I have to check with my boss.
How much? You get 20%.
$150.
I counted out eight twenty dollar bills. The extra ten is for trimming my eyebrows.
A week later I'm still getting used to them. Walked right into a pole. Women love dreads and trimmed eyebrows. You can smell the sexual tension when I enter a room.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Tough Cartilage
I got a haircut today and the female barber told me I have tough ear cartilage. Like her mother. Maybe she was trying to set us up. I never spent much time considering my ears, except to note they were prominent and needed to be covered in the summer or they look like half cooked chop meat.
It must be my high testosterone level. I'm debating whether to employ certain Asian exercises to loosen up said cartilage. If a woman begins nibbling on my ears and experiences resistance from my top skin, she'll never get to my lobes, which are the key to releasing my passion.
My haircuts only last about two minutes because there's not much left to cut. It takes longer to trim my eyebrows. I love it when she runs the shaver over my barrenness. One day I will get up the courage to let them shampoo me. Strong Spanish women taking turns massaging my scalp. Yes.
Let me catch my breath.
It must be my high testosterone level. I'm debating whether to employ certain Asian exercises to loosen up said cartilage. If a woman begins nibbling on my ears and experiences resistance from my top skin, she'll never get to my lobes, which are the key to releasing my passion.
My haircuts only last about two minutes because there's not much left to cut. It takes longer to trim my eyebrows. I love it when she runs the shaver over my barrenness. One day I will get up the courage to let them shampoo me. Strong Spanish women taking turns massaging my scalp. Yes.
Let me catch my breath.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)