He knocked at 9am. Showed me a badge that said Department of Home Wildlife. He seemed harmless, so I let him in. He said he needed to do inventory, quickly withdrew a plastic object ,that when pointed at something, ticked.
He moved around scanning everything. Sometimes the ticks were soft, sometimes loud. After five minutes he told Joe he was under the approved limit. Of what? Joe asked.
Dust mites ,was the answer. He needed 400 per square foot and was well short.
We can do this hard or easy, the man said. I could fine you and take you in right now. Or, because we're compassionate, I have 60000 mites in my trunk I could sell you for $49.95. Your decision.
Joe swallowed. His body shook.
Do you give senior discounts? he asked
Do I look stupid? the man shot back.
Joe sighed and went to get his checkbook.
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