It's Easter Sunday and if I attend church I'm a complete hypocrite because I haven't been going. I could use today as a starting point to regaining my religion, rededicating myself to following our laws, which are confusing because they keep changing. No masses in Latin, the option of placing the Communion wafer into your own mouth, and most baffling, the elimination of Limbo. For years, Limbo was my fallback position. If I wasn't good enough to enter Heaven immediately, instead of being consigned to Hell, I'd be held over in Limbo until the powers that be decided my fate. Possibly, I could have an opportunity to make my case for Heaven. Really good hygiene is often overlooked in the criteria. If I choose to skip church I could use that time to attend the Easter Parade on Fifth Avenue, where I could take pictures of pets in ridiculous costumes and transvestites well over six feet in heels wearing fishnet stockings. The bonnets weigh about twenty pounds and it's especially disturbing to see kids wearing these monstrosities, which will cause emotional scarring for many years ahead.
I could actually combine the two by going to the parade and attending mass at St. Patrick's, where I could pray for those kids and the poor, humiliated pets. Transvestites can fend for themselves.
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