Hugo had money, but no friends. So he decided to screen applicants for his inner circle.
Barney the bear was too folksy. Alice was too nervous from her trip to Wonderland. Dorothy was delusional with strange dreams of a place called Oz. Little Red Riding hood was way too juvenile. Wimpy Kid was too wimpy, Bugs Bunny sprayed too much saliva. Winnie the Pooh hugged him a little too long. Tony Soprano scared him. The Little Mermaid splashed all over. Googy was too goofy.
Dilbert was someone he felt comfortable with a nd Lucy was bossy, but he liked bossy.
Now he needed a wife. Only one woman fit the bill. Elvira, Queen of the Night. He craved women in black with lots of eye makeup.
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