Last year it was hummus. I couldn't get enough of it. I put it on bread, rolls, crackers, people's forearms. I went from market to market seeking illegal imported hummus, wound up in a dark alley exchanging money for North African concoctions.
Then suddenly I lost my taste for it. Who knows why? There was a void that cherry tomatoes, yams, and squash couldn't fill. I became jittery and quick tempered.
All the while the solution was right in front of me.
Avocados.
Those pear shaped green demons. I barely got home with a bag before tearing off the skin and gobbling down half a dozen. I was an avocado pig. I had a problem.
One day I was standing on the cashier line holding three full bags of them when two uniformed officers pulled me into a back room. The Guacamole Police. I had exceeded the state's monthly allotment. We were shipping them to Ohio where there was an avocado shortage. I was put on probation.
My friends are happy. They had gotten sick of having guacamole licked off their fingers.
Showing posts with label Hummus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hummus. Show all posts
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Whither Hummus?
What happened? Only a few months ago I discovered hummus and couldn't stop writing about it, here and elsewhere. People got sick of me talking about this wonderful spread, mainly because I was about 600 years late.
Somehow, I lost track of my container in my own fridge. I think jealous grapes blocked it off. So I just grabbed the butter and began using that on my crackers. Months passed without missing it. One day I was walking through the market and saw the hummus section containing all brands and flavors. I smacked myself in the head. What was wrong with me?
I ran home and started emptying my fridge and sure enough, there it was pinned against the back wall--my hummus.
But what had happened in the interim? Did it become poisonous? Were tiny creatures living within the smooth texture? Should I contact EPA or a Swat team? How toxic can it be?
I concluded my best course of action was to carefully remove it, place it in a plastic bag and bring it to my writers group.Let them consume it and see what happens. That may sound cruel and heartless, but you haven't met these people.
Somehow, I lost track of my container in my own fridge. I think jealous grapes blocked it off. So I just grabbed the butter and began using that on my crackers. Months passed without missing it. One day I was walking through the market and saw the hummus section containing all brands and flavors. I smacked myself in the head. What was wrong with me?
I ran home and started emptying my fridge and sure enough, there it was pinned against the back wall--my hummus.
But what had happened in the interim? Did it become poisonous? Were tiny creatures living within the smooth texture? Should I contact EPA or a Swat team? How toxic can it be?
I concluded my best course of action was to carefully remove it, place it in a plastic bag and bring it to my writers group.Let them consume it and see what happens. That may sound cruel and heartless, but you haven't met these people.
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