Why is it the shopping cart I choose never rolls? Hundreds of carts in the parking lot, I pick the one that stutters or lurches to the side or makes unacceptable rattling noises. No matter where I shop this happens.
Sometimes the cart will play games with me. It will roll along beautifully for 50 feet, then suddenly stop short causing a punctured bowel. Invariably I have to get another, but not without struggling to place the defective one where it's not blocking traffic. More than once I've gotten a solid citizen cart prepared to do its job, and on the way into the store I'll spot someone taking my damaged cart, unknowingly. If I were possessing integrity, I'd warn them. But since I'm me, I just wait and watch them get suckered in, eventually cursing loudly.
Another cart problem occurs when they are attached and you have to pull the first one loose. I keep yanking to no avail. Then I move to another line and try again without success. Meanwhile some 100 pound woman has no trouble detaching the very cart that stubbornly refused my efforts. Recently I discovered the trick others have been using. Raise the basket located by the handle and the cart releases without hesitation. Why didn't anyone tell me this?
Wal-Mart carts are too big for what I need. I know this is a subconscious sales tactic to get me to spend more than I intend. I may not be shopping cart savvy, but I know my sales techniques. Because I'm a detail guy, I've only misplaced my full cart a handful of times. Instead of panicking, I quietly traverse the entire store until I come upon it. Should I not find it, I confront the store manager, demand he lock all exits and accompany me on a cart by cart inspection until we find the culprit. The down side of that is he or she usually manages to sell me stuff I don't need, like camping equipment. If you ever find me out camping somewhere, call assisted living immediately. My mind has left the building.
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