Snide Remarks

There is an art to executing snide remarks. Below are the essential elements in pulling off successful snide remark impact.
Say it loud enough for people to hear, but not so loud so that it crosses over into outright cruelty.
Accompany it with a look of disdain.
Your target usually should be someone whose life is rolling along carefree.
Only use English. Repeating the same remark in several languages dilutes impact.
Don't include the person's mother, but spouses are fair game.
Before you let loose, gauge the mood of the room. Hostile means postpone until things simmer down.
If everyone seems happy, chuckle when you release your snide comment.
If you intend to school your kids in making these remarks, make certain they know self defense.
Be prepared for your target to retaliate when you least expect it.
Snorting after you've attacked is considered bad form in polite circles.
If your target is the food served by your hostess, say something nice about the salad.
Your remark must contain pithy, but deadly wit. Use an English accent when possible.
Assume that your target will eventually learn of your ambush and you will lose another friend.
For variety, raise an eyebrow like Cary Grant when executing.
Clear your throat first to subtly get attention, pause and release the verbiage.
Snide remarks about celebrities are a good way to hone your gift.
Cruel is a relative term.