Backtracking

My dear constituents, I may have spoken rashly. Let me backtrack. I admit I have been tweeting an underage Australian aborigine named Evonne. But I swear there was nothing salacious in the texts. I never sent photos of body parts, just a tiny mole under my knee.
Somehow, a nefarious individual hacked into this poor girl's account and made public our private communication. About that gift I sent her. Yes, I sent her a diamond brooch, but I have always been a generous person. I've inherited my fortune from our family's fabric softener empire and want to share with others less fortunate.
Okay, now that I've brought it up, let's explore the charges that our company uses carcinogens. It was unfortunate that a small portion of Southern Connecticut became violently ill--let me backtrack--a rather large portion. Just because that is where our factory is located doesn't mean the two are connected.
Getting back to Evonne, yes, I did invite the youngster to visit, all expenses paid. I see it as opening up new vistas for someone who has never left her village. If Oprah can extend aid to Africa and build schools, why can't I take this wonderful young woman to museums and such. I am a single man, may I remind you, and in six hundred forty one days Evonne will be legal.
So there.