Bananas

Shopper and clerk
Clerk-You just broke two bananas off the bunch.
Shopper-So?
Clerk-That's not allowed.
Shopper-Why?
Clerk-It goes against nature. It would be like yanking two of your cousins away from your own family.
Shopper-I don't like my cousins.
Clerk-Why not take all four?
Shopper-I live alone. I can only eat two bananas before they get overripe.
Clerk-What is overripe but a matter of opinion?
Shopper-Overripe is when you try to peel it and all you get is mush.
Clerk-We have have a separate problem here.
Shopper-We?
Clerk-You've been touching the produce too much. You are allowed three touches, no more.
Shopper-That's not enough.
Clerk-For the rest of society it is.
Shopper-You're saying I'm the only one who over touches?
Clerk-On my shift. I can't speak for when I'm absent.
Shopper-You take your job pretty seriously.
Clerk-That's why I'm head produce clerk.
Shopper-So you established these rules.
Clerk-In conjunction with The International Produce Quality Control Association.
Shopper-You just made that up.
Clerk-They're located in Terre Haute, Indiana.
Shopper-I need to feel my fruit.
Clerk-Three touches.
Shopper-Or what?
Clerk-I bring out Leroy from the back.
Shopper-Fine. I carry a tasar weapon.
Clerk-I doubt that.
Shopper-Try me.
(To be continued)