We put pepper in the armadillo food, wanting to see how it would affect them. Initially there was no discernible effect. They ate the usual insects, worms, small birds.
Poor George, our head research guy. He was sitting on the front steps of our lab building having lunch--tuna salad if I recall. Suddenly six of these creatures, who were allowed to roam the grounds, surrounded him and began rubbing themselves against him, squealing.
George hadn't had a date in months, so this wasn't entirely unpleasant. One of them thrust its long tongue down his throat, while another lay across his face blocking his breathing. We found him later just lying there, mouth open with an erection. By then the armadillos had fled to the bus station where they were surrounded by tourists trying to pet them.
Police are still investigating and examining the surveillance footage.
We are planning a statue of George who died for his profession.
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