Billy Joel was stubborn. He refused to play on my piano. You don't play, you don't eat. I said. You are a criminal fool, he replied.
Look, I'm your biggest fan. I went through hell kidnapping you. He scowled. Your piano isn't tuned. I scowled. So tune it.
I don't do that stuff, he snarled. You should have snatched Elton.
All he does is pound away at the keys. You are a true artist. Play Miami 2012.
You would never let me starve.
You, Billy, don't know me.
So why did you buy a piano if you can't play.
It impresses guests.
You are a dabbler, fella, one who paints a little and writes a little. You should have kidnapped Dali.
He's long dead. Listen, I made pot roast. I am one hell of a cook. Play one lousy song and you get a meal fit for a king.
And then what?
I'm tired of your attitude, Billy. Then I let you go and go after Pearlman. I love the violin more than the piano.
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