I've always considered myself fashionable. I really know how to mix and match. So it was with a sense of betrayal that I received a comment from my friend Marsha, who took me aside and whispered, no one wears suede jerkins anymore, except Ralph Lauren in a weak moment.
I tore myself away, stifling a sob. This was the deepest cut. Traitorous. I needed assurance and support, so I drove to another friend, Lois, and pleaded for honesty. Her eyes rolled up as though she was scrambling for something positive to say. Okay, she finally said, that cowboy hat has to go, along with the jodhpurs and slim jeans. Not with your belly.
I crumpled to the ground in serious dismay. She carried me inside and fed me scones until I calmed down. I eventually tossed the hat away and stomped out the door, determined to regain my confidence. Perhaps a miner's hat, complete with mounted searchlight. That's a start and I'll just work downward.
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