Fuzz and Static Cling

In all my years exploring the unusual, the mystery of fuzz and static cling continue to perplex.
After numerous experiments and hours of observation, I have formed a Unified Theory of Fuzz and Static Cling that I will present to a consortium of scientists in Vienna next month.
I have concluded fuzz is the physical manifestation of all the unfinished sentences, incomplete thoughts and fool hardy ideas that clog interstellar space. It is light and formless like much of contemporary thinking. Fuzz has neither taste nor smell, nor does it make noise. It follows its own rules of physics, quietly filling the ear canals of unaware elderly people.
Proclaiming 'my thinking is fuzzy today' is a perfect description of the distinct fugue state many cultural icons enter when tweeting. Fuzz can't be destroyed, but it is constantly being created. See Baldwin, Alec.
From my research I am convinced static cling was first identified in 1973 when Aretha Franklin had a gym workout wearing Spandex. The condition spread quickly. Intense sweat creates a powerful vacuum that sucks in surrounding electrons and causes static shock.
Clinging fabric collects mountains of fuzz, thereby becoming something unwearable, inedible, uncomfortable, and basically unexplainable, except by academics like me.
You are quite welcome.