Albert loved house sales. Every Saturday he drove to at least one. These sales were organized by family of a deceased person to make money on the furnishings, etc. He had bought a variety of objects--lamps, throw rugs, barely used toothpaste, pimento olives still in the can, place mats, shoe inserts.
His wife, Eunice was pregnant with their first child, which meant he had a difficult choice. The Petersens were having a house sale after their grandmother passed and Albert salivated at the thought of culling through her treasures. He'd been over there several times for dinner with the old woman and there was a china cabinet to die for.
He discussed it with Eunice, who assured him she would be fine. Go ahead, don't worry about me, she said.
As it happened, Albert was in the process of bid battling some ridiculous woman who lived three towns over for the cabinet when his cell rang. It was Eunice informing him her sister Margot was driving her to the hospital. The baby was coming faster than expected.
Albert made one final successful bid, jumped into his car and sped off. He got to the viewing section just as the baby was halfway out. This would not do. Nope.
Hey doc, he yelled. I just got here and missed the first part. Can you start over?
The doctor sighed and grumbled something obscene before shoving the baby back inside the uterus. Eunice's screams were becoming annoying, but Albert forgave her. After all, how was she to know they'd be getting an exquisite china cabinet at a fraction of the cost.
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