Sunday, June 8, 2014

My Junk, Your Treasure

You recognize me. I am indeed Elmo Raciope, Mr. Strike, world class bowler. How many Saturday afternoons have you seen me on TV with Chris Schenkel doing commentary. Dozens of times I've battled the best and held my own.
Celebrities have garage sales too. Take your time. Browse. All those crock pots are almost new. My wife has a thing for crock pot sales.
Those? No, they're not part of the sale. I know they were located in the garage itself, but they are strictly off limits. I am not considering offers. Those twelve pairs of bowling shoes will be buried with me. Yup.
Well, even a staunch bowling fan would think it odd that one guy is obsessed with another guy's shoes. I could see if it were my Dynashield Hall of Fame windbreaker in jasmine, but not the shoes. Even the wrist and hand band I wore to fight carpel tunnel syndrome would make more sense. We're not even the same size.
My answer is final.
How much???
Let me take a step back right here. I could build a pool for that. Yes, bowlers swim too. I would have to keep the striped pair, my favorite. The rest are yours. Yes, I take checks with two forms of ID.
What? No, I'm afraid that woman is off limits. That's Edna, my lovely wife of 26 years; stood by me through good and bad. Not for sale. Nope.
HOW MUCH??
Edna, could you come over here? We have to talk.

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