I attend free senior movies every two weeks in town. They usually choose inane Adam Sandler/ Cameron Diaz comedies, well beneath my intellect. So I wait in the men's room until everyone is seated. Then I explore the other showings in the multiplex to check what else is playing. I just sneak in and watch one of those, usually containing explosions, dismemberment and chase scenes. Right in my wheelhouse.
Recently I arrived at the theater the same time as always, hoping to skip the endless previews. To my shock, Jersey Boys was already a half hour in. Damn. As I stumbled up the steps in the dark I was afraid I'd accidentally mistake a taken seat for an empty one and sit on someone's lap. Some seniors would welcome that. Some would pull a knife.
I ran right into the woman who runs the program, seated in the last row. She told me to stop dead while she flipped on her I-pad and used the light to guide me to an empty seat "before I killed myself."
At that moment I truly felt like a helpless senior and it sucked. The movie was great though.
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