Dear Moses, we both know you are in deep trouble with the Pharaoh and are in danger of being cast out into the harsh desert. I, Bernice, you lover and mother of your son, gift you this custom made divining rod so you can find water more easily, as well as this large bag of Skittles for nourishment.
I also want you to have this pizza sniffing Yorkie, which you can tie to your divining rod. It may be years before we see each other. If you had kept your big mouth shut none of this would have happened. Finally, I am giving you a new product that has taken the market place by storm--speed stick roll on deodorant. Because if you do run across any other poor soul, at least you'll be presentable. Please wear a hat and use SPF 30.
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