Gravy

Where is the respect? They claim I'm invaluable, yet I'm treated like garbage. They stir me forever until I'm dizzy. Then they plop me on their silly food and it's my responsibility to enhance the taste. Lumps? I LIKE my lumps. Why do they seek to eliminate my lumps?
Think about spaghetti and meatballs without me. I mean, you can have salad without dressing, but pasta without gravy?
I respect anyone who creates their own gravy, but those humans are few and far between. Most gravy is imprisoned in jars on shelves forever. Can't you hear us screaming for attention as you stroll past? What's worse are those who bring us home, use us once and bury us in the fridge for weeks. What happens? Mold and bacteria and disgusting stuff growing on top of us and there's nothing we can do about it.
Humans needs to reassess their relationship with gravy on all levels. You'd better not confuse us with condiments. Pour me on a hotdog and I swear I'll give you salmonella.