Book Signing

For authors with books doing a signing. Ways to sign a book.

Head down, mumbling, looking serious.
Head down, snickering at the fool who paid $27 for your book.
Complimenting anyone on any article of clothing except handcufs on the belt.
Speak in gibberish and watch them nod in agreement.
Do not pose for selfies with food stuck in your teeth.
Prtend to be deaf and use sign language you made up.
Hand out condoms with your book's title when unraveled.
Use disappearing ink just to annoy them.
Do not scratch your head and sprinkle dandruff on your book.
Do not hug your book or rub it against you.