Sold As Is

Joe was on a tight budget. If the floor model was slightly damaged, he grabbed it. On his birthday he strolled along Main Street until he came to a small store--A  Piece of Heaven. A wholesale codpiece outlet.
The proprietor, short and pale, showed him their stock, none of which fit Joe's budget. Sighing, he was about to leave when the man called him back. He reached under the counter and brought out a cellophane wrapped codpiece. This one's used, the man said.
He told Joe it was sold as is, no returns. The price was right, but Joe wanted to know how many had owned it before him.
Only three, was the answer.he guy who brought it in seemed clean and healthy.
Joe bought and raced home to try it on. It fit. Satin, of course.
He named it Morey.
After three days his groin began itching. It stretched and developed a hole. Then the strap snapped in the middle of a power point presentation.
Joe got home and stripped off Morey. Into the garbage it went.
Back to tighty whities.
A week later the itching finally stopped.