I sit before the mirror waiting for my ear hair to grow back, trimmer in hand. Some would say there is a void in my life. I am a retired shoemaker. I have fixed over 28000 holes in the soles. They did a documentary on me. I am known as the Hole Whisperer.
Let me hold up this mirror. Ah, a tiny hair that wasn't there two hours ago. When you stick that trimmer right up your nostril it can be arousing. Really.
I also enjoy waiting for toast. You know the result, but when will the process take place? I will place my fish tank nearby and watch the fish leap in fear when the toast pops. Or maybe it's excitement.
Would it be inappropriate to use my trimmer on my armpits? Why am I asking you? You're sitting there eating a bowl of kale.
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