Ugly Chair

She told the salesman she needed an ugly chair as a conversation piece because she was so dull guests would doze off. He nodded and said we may have something.
When he returned dragging a chair that looked normal, she had doubts.
This looks like perfectly average chair, she said.
The salesman smiled and said, I'd like you to meet Keith. He comes with the chair. Keith gave her a toothy smile.
I don't understand, she said.
The salesman nodded to Keith, who began speaking.
"The Flying Wallendas are down to third cousins due to so many accidents. The average weight of a certified accountant is 183.5 pounds. People in Arkansas pass more wind per minute than any other state. East Honduras is a fake country created by drunken cartographers."
He went on for another five minutes before she agreed that this would do.
The salesman told her Keith needed to hydrate and get enough fiber and he would be serviceable for a decade.
She kissed the salesman on the cheek and left smiling.