My grandma crackles. I don't know how she does it. She cackles too, but that's to be expected. All of us will eventually cackle. But no other adult I know crackles. I think it originates in her abdomen. She swears she's not in pain. I suggested meditation or yoga, but she refuses. She's proud of her uniqueness. Most times I'm okay with it, except when she's in the bathroom and I can hear loud crackling and cackling at once. I lose my appitite.
Grandpa just snorts--no crackle. I secretly recorded the two of them and sent the tape to a horror film director who is using it as the sound track to his next film. I thought about sharing the proceeds with my grandparents, but I have my own medical bills. When I crouch, a low whistle is emitted from my butt. I'm told it might be due to excess fiber. Maybe it's genetic. I could use a butt muffler.
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