Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Umbrella Madness

Thank you so much for seeing me, Mr.Wilomet. I truly believe your company is the perfect home for my concept.
Here is my prototype. Looks like a typical umbrella, right? Guess again. Press this little knob and presto! You have a dangerous automatic weapon capable of firing 40 rounds a minute. As you might expect, this baby weighs more than your average umbrella, but weigh that against protection against the wing nuts out there. Plus, it really does protect you in the rain.
Here, let me demonstrate. That is an abandoned building across the street. Watch me shatter some windows. Well, okay it's against the law, but this is a multi million dollar product before you. Think of how happy your shareholders will be. Think of your bonus. Don't you want to protect your family?
I see. That is your decision. I have other options.
Oh God, I am so sorry. Accidental discharge is not acceptable. That seems like a flesh wound. Perhaps your secretary should call 911. Language like that has no place in the corporate world. I said I was sorry.
I know when I'm not wanted. A tourniquet might be a good move about now. Good day, sir.

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