I sensed Old Man Ollie had lost touch with reality, but there was something mesmerizing in his pronouncements. I believed his proclamations, all of which began with "If only you believe."
I was fifteen years old and my head was full of magic.
If you leap off that pole, you will land on your feet.
If you snort oregano you will see God.
If you feed your dog chocolate covered raisins it will clean up its own poop.
If you tattoo the bottoms of your feet you will experience multiple orgasms.
None of these happened; some put me in Emergency.
But I decided to give him one more chance.
If you only believe, you will fly only at night and only backward.
I waited until pitch dark, closed my eyes and focused. To my delight, within seconds I was aloft and flying backwards at a speed I couldn't control. After barely missing power lines and a tree I began to hate Old Man Ollie. He never mentioned anything about the landing process. If I stopped believing, I would crash. If I continued believing, when dawn came, I would still crash, perhaps gradually. Either way I would miss dinner. Damn you, Ollie.
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