Lawrence, always in a morning rush, would forget to trim his nose and ear hair. He had a state of the art Belgian trimmer that just lay in his medicine cabinet.
One day at work, his co worker Sheila commented that seeing him in profile was like staring at the Amazon Rain Forest. Stung by this remark, Lawrence was determined to address the problem. Next day, he set up a mirror on a tripod next to his left ear. Using a steady hand and focus, along with superb peripheral vision, he inserted the trimmer into his ear. Unfortunately, it was on maximum and the vibration caused him to have religious visions. He saw God. God waved his index finger in admonition, indicating His displeasure.
He realized it was God's will he should have bushels of ear hair. So he put away the trimmer and even stopped yanking out stray nose hairs.
If Sheila made another crass comment, he would either turn the other cheek or make a remark about cellulite.
Now he would focus only on his work designing sturdy porch decks for retired sumo wrestlers.
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