Bart finally achieved his life ambition--he was crossing guard at the Fallupi intersection six way beast of a challenge. People rushing to work, kids to school, a blind man, vicious feral dogs, a rabid squirrel.
The Kasabi family of eight, led by Mrs. Kasabi, an aggressive crosser who ignored him and almost got her kids run over just added to the tension.
For nine months there wasn't a single incident at his intersection. Other crossing guards practically genuflected before him
Until that fateful day when some old guy, evidently a writer, approached vehicles, trying to get people to buy his book. One actually did, and his excitement was such that he stepped in front of a 16 wheeler and became turkey stuffing.
His fellow writers brought ragweed to the spot afterward, which stunk up the whole area.
Mrs. Kasabi complained about mustard on his yellow vest. Bart almost used his stun gun on her. But he had too much class to follow through.
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