I went to the clinic with a headache. The doctor entered, unshaven, eating from a bag of Doritos. Crumbs covered his white jacket. He gave me a high five and asked what was the matter. I told him about my headache. Who doesn't have one these days? Have you been following the news? Take an aspirin. I told him it didn't help.
Just between us, he said, you know what releases tension? Masturbation. Hey, this morning I woke up all stressed. So I did the weed wacker with my Mr. Johnson. Felt so much better.
Let me see if your shoulders are tight. Don't worry, I washed my hands. Both of them. Here, let me yank on your earlobe.
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